С развитием Интернета многое поменялось. Появились форумы, социальные сети, чаты для знакомств. Теперь люди прямо из дома могут узнавать новое, общаться с людьми из других городов и стран. В связи с этим всё чаще возникает вопрос: а существует ли дружба в сети или это просто выдумка? Разберём, кто такие интернет-друзья, как их найти, а также достоинства и недостатки подобного общения.
По данным опроса ВЦИОМ, 88% россиян используют Интернет как средство коммуникации. Всё чаще стало употребляться словосочетание «интернет-друг».
Интернет-друг — это человек, с которым ты познакомился в сети, стал вести с ним близкое общение. Хоть Интернет и позволяет нам преодолевать большое расстояние, связываться с людьми со всего мира, но мнение об общении в нём весьма неоднозначно.
Лучше всего об этом расскажут люди, у которых был опыт интернет-дружбы или отношений на расстоянии.
Так, Алина Ланская поделилась своей историей:
С одной девочкой познакомилась в беседе, ещё в 2015 году. 4 года были лучшими подругами на расстоянии в 6 километров. Разговоры по «Скайпу», письма и посылки… Было очень атмосферно. К сожалению, теперь наши пути разошлись, почти не общаемся: только поздравляем с днём рождения и иногда узнаём, как у кого дела.
С другим человеком дружим с 2017, поддерживаем друг друга в трудных ситуациях. Общаемся до сих пор. Хорошо отношусь к интернет-дружбе, а вот об отношениях подобного сказать не могу… Их минус — не знаешь, что творится с человеком. Многие проблемы легче обсуждать с глазу на глаз. Да и телесный контакт — важная составляющая, без этого тяжело. Много нервов, слёз. Зато и нереальные эмоции при встречах.
Софье Грицух тоже не повезло с отношениями в Сети:
Встречалась с парнем, который был на пару лет старше меня, живём в одном районе. Когда у него началась учёба в медицинском, мы престали видеться, только переписывались. Он говорил о своей «загруженности по учёбе», а я верила. Потом оказалось, что обманывал меня. Никакой загруженности не было, просто появилась другая девушка. Ему не хватило смелости сказать мне об этом. Оправдывался тем, что у него «куча проблем» .
Кто-то, подобно Нике Кисилёвой, не проходит испытание расстоянием:
Мы познакомились на отдыхе. Это был парень на два года старше меня. Вроде бы, я ему понравилась, он тоже был милым. Но пришлось разъехаться по домам: я живу на Алтае, а он в Новосибирске. Ему как-то удалось отыскать меня в «Инстаграме». Написал. Много общались, часто созванивались, переписывались. Всё это длилось примерно пять месяцев, пока я не поняла, как трудно мне общаться в сети – я очень хотела с ним увидеться. К сожалению, так и не получилось, поэтому мы расстались.
Это было четыре года назад. А вот год назад он мне написал, спросил, как дела. С тех пор, пусть и редко, но общаемся, дружим.
Некоторые истории всё-таки более радостны – показывает на своём примере Ирина Горбунова:
С друзьями я познакомилась ещё в 2014 году. На тот момент очень любила одну группу, это нас и объединило. Мы собрались в беседу, постоянно общались. Постепенно взрослели, кто-то отсеивался, с другими же я лишь сближалась. Нас осталось четверо: я, Таня, Рома и Гоша. С Таней я всегда была ближе всего, у меня с ней связано столько радостных моментов… К сожалению, я была из Москвы, парни из Московской области, а Таня из Нижнего Новгорода, поэтому мы долго не могли собраться все вместе, хотя очень об этом мечтали. И через пять с половиной лет это всё-таки случилось: она приехала!
Всё это время мы общались, поддерживали друг друга, поэтому встреча была очень эмоциональной. Она обещала приехать ещё раз. Дружим уже шесть лет. А что самое удивительное: ни я, ни она в дружбу по интернету не верили… Но меня очень радует, что всё так получилось.
В общении в Сети есть и достоинства, и недостатки, о которых необходимо знать, прежде чем его начинать.
Плюсы:
- Познакомиться в интернете намного проще, чем в реальном мире. Люди смелее начинают общение: для этого не нужно лично подходить к человеку, заговаривать с ним, что сложно, если ты застенчив. Социальные сети позволяют общаться в удобном для нас режиме, тщательно обдумывать сообщения. Если в сети можно написать «Прости, что долго отвечаю. Вот что я думаю по этому поводу…», то реальное общение требует мгновенной реакции.
- В случае неудачи можно просто заблокировать пользователя, выйти из беседы или покинуть сайт. Вы вряд ли ещё пересечётесь. В реальной жизни ты ещё часто можешь встречать этого человека на улице, в школе, на работе или в институте.
- Если ты хочешь познакомиться с человеком в социальных сетях, то достаточно просмотреть его группы и страницу, чтобы узнать, схожи ли ваши интересы.
- Анонимность позволяет вести себя более открыто, говорить о сокровенном, не боясь, что тебя за это засмеют. «У меня проблемы в семье» — расскажет кто-то, и с этого может завязаться крепкая дружба, основанная на поддержке, искренности и понимании.
- Другом может стать человек, живущий в другой части света. Если ты не знаешь язык, то общаешься с помощью переводчика, узнаёшь о культуре, увлечениях и событиях другой страны.
Минусы:
- Поначалу нет уверенности в том, кем является человек, с которым ты общаешься. Он может запросто тебя обмануть, притворившись кем-то другим. Выявить обман иногда очень трудно. Что ещё хуже: многие мошенники также пользуются доверчивостью пользователей, притворяются друзьями или дальними родственниками, пытаются выманить деньги или какую-либо информацию.
- Иногда интернет-общение затягивает так сильно, что человек забывает о реальной жизни: не выходит на улицу, не общается с людьми вне сети. Это называется интернет-зависимостью и сказывается на здоровье и социальной адаптации. Чтобы такого не происходило, нужно грамотно распределять время между сетью и реальностью.
- Для многих людей важен физический контакт: обниматься, держаться за руки, говорить, смотреть собеседнику в глаза, поэтому им сложно общаться исключительно в интернете.
- Общение по любым причинам может внезапно прекратиться, и больше этого человека ты не встретишь.
- Не каждый готов к отношениям или дружбе на расстоянии. Это испытание, через которое придётся пройти людям. Общение может угаснуть, и в итоге вы едва ли будете списываться хотя бы пару раз в год, на праздники.
И всё же, как показывают рассказы девушек, дружба в интернете действительно возможна.
Вот три совета о том, где можно найти интернет-друга:
1. Группы во «ВКонтакте» по интересам
Если ты фанат какой-нибудь книги, игры, спорта или сериала, попробуй поискать друга в сообществе на эту же тему. Старайся проверять, какой он в общении: пишет ли агрессивные комментарии, оскорбляет ли других участников.
2. Беседы и группы для знакомств
Во «Вконтакте» есть целый ряд групп, которые ищут участников в беседы. Они бывают как тематическими, так и просто разговорными. В них можно встретить множество интересных людей. Есть также сообщества, направленные на поиск отношений или дружбы по сети.
3. Анонимные чаты и форумы
Место для самых стеснительных пользователей. Недостаток лишь один – ты не знаешь, какого человека встретишь в следующую секунду, но шанс найти кого-то подходящего всё-таки есть.
Конечно, способов намного больше. Интернет-друга, как и друга реального, можно найти где угодно. Главное, чтобы этот человек подходил тебе.
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