Мы стараемся быть личностями, а нас съедает масса, которая не имеет ни грамма индивидуальности.
Привет, меня зовут Поля! Мне 17 лет, шесть из которых я терпела унижения сверстников. В этой статье я хочу рассказать истории о буллинге от лица близких подруг. Людей, большую часть жизни которых занимали оскорбления. Это важно прочесть каждому: как человеку которого унижали, так и тому, кто унижал. Тем более, что с каждым годом тема буллинга и травли становится все актуальнее.
Inst: https://instagram.com/drofysha?utm_medium=copy_link
Мария Дорофеева, 17 лет, Москва
— К сожалению, общество не воспринимает всерьез буллинг, если это не доводит человека до психоза, депрессии, ненависти к себе, требующей вмешательства профессионалов (психологов).
Моя история началась ещё в начальной школе. Меня ненавидели и буллили за все: рост, очки, пластинки на зубах, за то, что я шепелявила. Тогда мне было просто обидно. Я не могла нигде найти поддержки, медленно осознавая, что через это мне придётся проходить самой. В какой-то момент это стало нормой поведения людей вокруг меня. Однако обиды и боль непринятия все ещё оставались со мной. В средней школе акцент оскорблений сменился с внешнего вида на отношения с моей первой любовью. Людей не устраивал мой выбор: он не был выгодным (людей не устраивало все, от цвета глаз, до повседневной одежды). Злые подростки перестали говорить за спиной, выплескивая всю ненависть и злость в лицо, унижая при классе, учителях. Если в начале я спорила и пыталась ответить тем же, то перейдя в восьмой класс, я перестала видеть в этом смысл. Людей лишь больше раззадоривала моя злость, гнев и обида. Мне оставалось пытаться не обращать внимание на внешние раздражители.
Ситуация изменилась, когда я перешла в старшую школу. Во многом меня спасла моя лучшая подруга: она была рядом, помогала мне преодолеть одиночество. Её поддержка вселила в меня веру в себя. Благодаря этому я начала отстаивать свои права, а позже и права тех, кто столкнулся с подобной ситуацией. С ощущением незримой благодарности, приходило чувство уверенности в себе и в том, что я делаю. Однако после вынужденного перехода в новый класс я столкнулась с новой волной буллинга. В силу своего характера, я не смогла принять здешние устои и продолжила яро отстаивать свою позицию. Это привело к нарастанию конфликта между мной и остальным классом. Издевательства были в виде громких разговоров за спиной, ироничных высказываний при учителях, открытой ненависти.
Находясь в ситуации буллинга много лет, я уяснила несколько правил для себя. Правило трех «НЕ»:
- Не бойся: это рано или поздно закончится. Твой страх лишь разжигает огонь азарта в сердцах ненавистников.
- Не жди и не надейся: не стоит надеяться на преподавателей, им зачастую все равно. Учись решать свои проблемы сам . В борьбе с буллингом есть только ты и твоя сила духа.
- Не верь: не заставляй себя поверить в то, в чем тебя упрекают.
Inst :https://instagram.com/marorovaa?utm_medium=copy_link
Юлия Майорова, 17 лет, Москва
— В 21 веке, при всей современности нашего поколения, буллинг занимает лидирующую позицию среди проблем молодежи.
Моя история, как и история миллионов подростков, началась в начальной школе. У меня с раннего возраста были проблемы с кожей, чего не было у моих одноклассников. Как и любого другого ребенка, меня это не волновало, до тех пор, пока мою проблему не стали замечать другие. Сначала это были шутки за спиной, потом мне стали выговаривать все гадости в лицо. Будучи ребенком, вся моя обида выплёскивалась в ежедневные истерики перед мамой после школы. Однако позже истерики перестали помогать, мне пришлось зайти дальше. Я решила перестать есть, чтобы избавиться от проблем с кожей. Из-за этого моя мама купила пароварку, и весь мой рацион состоял исключительно из пресных продуктов. Как оказалось, и этого мне было мало. После двух лет издевательств, я нашла «хорошее решение»: спилить все дефекты кожи пилочкой для ногтей, из-за чего заболевание обострилось еще больше.
После выпуска из начальной школы, меня ждал новый виток буллинга — ненависть со стороны старшеклассников. Зачастую это выражалось в простых насмешках, подножках и подзатыльниках. Позже это начало переходить все границы дозволенного: на меня выливали стаканы воды, тушили бычки об одежду . Я пробовала говорить об этом с классным руководителем, но на все мои слезы и жалобы, она отвечала только одно: «Ты сама вынудила их так поступать. Измени свое поведение». Именно такое отношение классного руководителя и многих других учителей ко мне, заставили меня винить себя в своем же буллинге. Держать все в себе было невыносимо больно, из-за чего я стала выплескивать свою внутреннюю злость на себя, на других людей.
Только после перехода в 9 класс, я смогла понять, что причиняя боль другим, мне не становится легче. Во многом пересмотреть свое поведение мне помогла мама, которая поддержала меня в тот момент, когда я решила поделиться с ней всеми историями. Ее поддержка сыграла важную роль — я простила старых обидчиков. Конечно, в моей голове все еще живы сцены издевательств надо мной, однако, я научилась воспринимать это как жизненный урок, которым я могу поделиться со многими.
Из этой истории я вынесла несколько важных вещей. Думаю, они могут помчь и другим.
- Не пытайся заполучить внимание у старшеклассников. Скорее всего, ты станешь объектом язвительных насмешек и ежедневных издевательств.
- Если у тебя есть проблемы со здоровьем, не пытайся их решить самостоятельно. Просить помощь у старших это нормально, именно они отведут тебя ко врачу и помогут найти верный путь решения твоей проблемы.
- Не теряй свою значимость. Тебя любят. Тебя ценят.
Важно помнить, что буллинг — один из жизненных этапов, который проходят все. Как бы ни было тяжело, человеку посилу преодолеть любое жизненное испытание. Ты со всем справишься!
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