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«Синдром отличника» или «синдром самозванца». Что с этим делать?

«Синдром отличника» или «синдром самозванца». Что с этим делать?

Попадая в общество, мы так или иначе начинаем сравнивать себя с остальными, и обязательно находим хотя бы одного человека, который лучше нас в чём-то: одежда, учёба, причёска и т.д. Отсюда и начинает возникать ненависть к себе, желание получать только самые высокие результаты и непринятие своей неповторимой личности.

«Я полный ноль! Нужно работать еще больше!» 

«Они достигли больше, чем я…» 

«Нет, 4 – ужасная оценка. Я ничего не знаю и не умею…» 

«Ха, мне просто повезло… Я сделал это точно не своими усилиями».

Пожалуй, это должно быть знакомо многим из нас. Именно это и есть «синдром отличника» или же «синдром самозванца» — вредные червячки, съедающие нас изнутри, обесценивающие все наши труды и не позволяющие достигать целей. 

«Синдром отличника» — в психологии убеждение, что идеал может и должен быть достигнут, убеждение, что несовершенный результат работы не имеет права на существование. «Синдром самозванца» — психологическое явление, при котором человек не способен приписать свои достижения собственным качествам, способностям и усилиям. 

Источник: https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Синдром_отличника

«Отличник» и «самозванец» идут рука об руку и хотят, чтобы мы были только идеальными.

Что с этим делать? 

Ошибки – это нормально. Идеала не существует. 

Это первое, что нужно усвоить: совершать ошибки и не всегда быть во всём лучшим абсолютно нормально и так же обыкновенно, как и почистить зубы или поесть. Ты можешь сказать, что просто хочешь стать лучше? Потрясающе! Но драматизировать свои неудачи, считать их концом твоей жизни и не принимать явно не стоит. Роботы и те выходят из строя, а мы люди, и у нас есть эмоции и переживания, и это несомненно влияет на качество учёбы или работы. Кстати, даже те, на кого ты равняешься, блоггеры, актёры, артисты, которых считаешь идеальными и успешными, совершили много ошибок прежде чем стать теми, кем они являются сейчас. Да даже в данный момент они продолжают наступать на разные грабли, потому что из падений и взлётов и состоит наш путь.

Провал – путь к успеху. 

Анализируя свои ошибки, мы совершенствуемся, учимся и понимаем, как поступить в следующий раз. Вот скажи, как ты узнаешь, в какой теме по истории, литературе или же математике ты слаб, если не допустишь ошибку? Как стать лучше, не позволяя себе оступиться? Так ты всегда будешь только на одном уровне. Твои ошибки – твой рост, они твои друзья, которые желают тебе только самого лучшего. Только ошибаясь, мы открываем новые возможности поэтому им есть место быть.

Как говорил Майкл Джордан: «Я промазал более 9000 раз за свою карьеру. Я проиграл почти 300 игр. 26 раз мне было доверено совершить решающий бросок, и я мазал. Я терпел поражения снова и снова в своей жизни. И это именно то, благодаря чему я преуспел».

Плохой результат тоже результат. 

Особенно это актуально для ребят, сдающих экзамены. Они пишут пробные варианты, ошибаются и расстраиваются из-за конечного балла: «Ужасно, никчемно, всё должно быть на сто баллов. Я мог бы лучше». Конечно, мог. Но та оценка, которую ты получил сейчас, неважно, плохая или хорошая, тоже является показателем. Ты можешь похвалить себя за правильно выполненные задания, принять к сведению допущенные ошибки и следующий пробный экзамен написать лучше, а можешь сидеть рыдать в подушку о том, что это стыдно для тебя получить низкий балл, теряя драгоценные нервные клетки и время, которого и так мало. Выбор за тобой. 

У каждого своя точка А. 

Сравнивая себя с другими, считая кого-то лучше и успешнее себя, важно помнить о том, что каждый начинает с разной точки. Допустим, пробный экзамен по английскому ты написал на 50 баллов, в то время, как твоя одноклассница на 80. Однако ты начал изучать иностранный язык только в этому году, а она это делает уже на протяжении пяти лет. Твоё начало может быть чьим-то концом, так что это ещё один повод перестать принижать свои способности и сравнивать себя с окружающими.

Не связывай успех с удачей. Принимай комплементы. Благодари себя. Не обижай свою личность. 

Всё, что ты делаешь, всё, чего ты достиг – это поистине твоя заслуга. «Просто повезло» — такого не бывает, в жизни ничего не происходит просто так. Почему тогда не повезло кому-то другому? Представь, как обидно твоему внутреннему «я», когда ты обесцениваешь его сильные стороны и умения. Признай, что ты молодец, что ты трудишься, а потому и достигаешь высоких результатов. 

Нет ни одного человека, который был бы идеальным во всём. Да, несомненно, есть те, кто будет лучше меня и тебя во многом, но в нас тоже есть что-то, чего нет в других, и это нужно ценить. Стремиться к совершенству – это прекрасно. Но не забывай о том, что ошибаться полезно и что в тебе живёт маленький человечек, твое внутреннее «я», которому будет грустно от того, что ты не признаёшь свои способности, свою уникальность или ругаешь его за каждые оплошности, стремясь к идеалу, которого не существует. Помни, от твоих неудач жизнь не закончится, это сделает её только интереснее и даст возможность открыть новое в тебе. Будь добр к своей личности, позволяй себе отдыхать и празднуй каждые маленькие победы. Именно так ты сможешь прогнать «отличника» и «самозванца» из своей жизни.

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